Maybe some Hope.....finally

So I hope I'm not getting my hopes up too high now just to have them crushed once again, but for the first time I a very long time I feel happy again. I feel like maybe I have some control now and maybe things will actually work out. We're still having problems getting pregnant and it is still a depressing topic around our house, but I actually feel a bit more hopeful than before. For those who don't know, I finished my third month on Clomid last month. The doctor told me we'd try three months on the lowest dosage of it and if I didn't ovulate they'd increase the dosage. But I did ovulate each month and responded very easily to it. So I went back to the doctor this past Thursday.
Since I responded so well to the Clomid she says she definately wouldn't recommend just increasing the dose because that's probably not our biggest problem now. So she said the next step is artificial insemenation. I'll go back on the Clomid next month and do a home ovulation predictor kit. The day I have a postive test I'll call them and make an appointment for the next day to do the AI. But before the appointment was over I asked her if my perforated bowels and the bowel repair surgery could be affecting my ability to get pregnant. She said the surgery and perforated bowels themselves wouldn't, but if I had infection in my abdomen (which I had very much of) then that could have caused my fallopian tubes to become blocked.
So on Friday I went in to have that checked. That was a joyous appointment, let me tell you. The radiologist was male so that makes it all the more awkward. I was exposed from the waist down. They put my knees up on stirrups and he opened me up with a vaginal speculum (like they use for pap smears). Then he inserted a catheter through my cervix into my uterus (major cramping caused). Next he injected contrast into my uterus (even more major cramping) and began taking a series of pictures to watch the contrast dye. Turns out my tubes are open, but he said that sometimes if there is a small blockage injecting the dye will open them up. Many times just doing this test increases fertility rates so maybe that did the trick. I guess we'll just have to wait and see.
This is by far the biggest challenge of my life. It has been so emotional and scary and depressing. But I've been so lucky to have the wonderful husband that I do. He's been nothing but supportive and understanding. We are both just hoping for the best now and getting very anxious for next month.

I Swear...

that when you want something so badly and can't have it you notice how many other people do get it. As most of you probably know, Cade and I have been trying for a baby for quite a while now and it's been really hard for me. After I miscarried last summer, I've been really emotional when it comes to talking about pregnancies. I don't cry anymore when I see someone pregnant or hear that they are, but it's still hard for me. I want to feel excited for other people when I found out they are having a baby but most of the time I just feel complete jealousy instead. It seems incredible to me how many people around me and in my family are pregnant right now. I really am happy for all those people, but still jealous.

In fact today at the beginning of my shift ALL three of the female nurses working in the ICU are pregnant. And our manager walked in and made the comment "this must be the pregnant shift" and I sat there and thought "ya everyone except me." We are really hoping that it will happen soon for us. My doctor started me on some fertility pills this past month and I'll go in for a progesterone blood test later this week. I just keep praying for patience and strength to keep having hope and not getting too frustrated and sad. And for all of you who are lucky enough to be having a baby, congratulations and make sure you savor every moment that comes.

A few new updates

Wow I guess I haven't posted in quite a while. Last week Cade and I celebrated our 2nd anniversary. We had our nieces and nephew here for the weekend before and then Tuesday (our anniversary) we went to 7 Peaks in Provo and met a lot of our family there. We played all day in the water and then the kids went home with their parents. After we were done at the park, Cade and I went to dinner at Red Lobster. It was such a good way to celebrate our anniversary.

So I started my internship (also called an externship by the school) in the pharmacy at Smith's Marketplace last week. It is going pretty good so far. I feel like I'm catching on quickly and I'm liking being in the pharmacy. I have 26 hours done so far and 154 more to go. Right now I can only do weekend hours because they already have an intern there during the week, but she will be done in 2 or 3 weeks and then I can take some of her hours during the week as well as weekends. Hopefully it won't take me too long to get the 180 hours done. Then sometime in the next month or so I will take my National Pharmacy Technician certification exam and assuming I pass it I'll send my results, along with an application, to the State to get my state Pharmacy Tech license.

Monday I started my new job in the ICU. It's going so well. I love it so far. I answer phones and monitor heart rhythms. I file reports in the patient charts and set up new charts for admits. It's so much fun to be around medicine and patients. Yesterday I got to help take a patient down for a CT scan and that was a fun little adventure. I'm meeting lots of doctors and nurses and they are all great to work with so far. I'll train for the rest of this week and next week, then I'll be on my own so hopefully I'll have everything down by then.

Exciting weekend

Friday was quite an eventful day. I got up and had a job interview first thing in the morning for a clerk position in the ICU at Logan Regional Hospital. Then I helped Cade set sprinklers in the yard. We went to a lumber store where we bought two bundles of shingles for five bucks! They were very anxious to get rid of them so we got a huge bargain. We shingled the roof of Cade's new shed. Then we started painting and ran out of paint after the first little bit around the door of the old shed. (We had white paint left over from painting the office, but apparently we didn't have as much as we thought we did) So we went to Wal Mart to get more paint and then to Cal Ranch to get a case for Cade's new propane lantern. While in Cal Ranch I got a call from the hospital asking if I could come back in by 4:30 (by that time it was 3 pm). I said yes so they said they'd like to offer me the job and I'd need to go in for a drug test no later than 4:30 or my offer would be voided. So we rushed to the WorkMed clinic for a drug test and I was nervous I wouldn't be able to give a sample (I had just gone pee before we left to run errands like a good little girl), but I had barely enough in me for the test. So Yay! I have a new job and I'm so excited. Now I just need to give my two weeks at my current job. Ok so after that we went home and finished painting the old shed and the new shed. Then we started to clean out the old shed to organize it better....and I became exhausted. So I went in and sat on the couch for a minute and before I knew it, I woke up an hour later. We went to the movie at 7 and saw My Sister's Keeper which personally I didn't love. I think I would have if I hadn't been so shocked by the major changes in it. It really is a great movie, but I was just in shock at the end because it was so different than the book I'd just finished reading.

So anyways about my new job: I'll be a clerk in the ICU so I'll answer phones, take care of patient charts, watch the heart rhythms, and things like that. I'm so excited to get to work in the hospital. I won't be working directly with the patients, but I'll be in that environment and that is just so exciting to me.

4th fun

So I've totally been slacking on posting lately. I've been meaning to get pictures up of the Dansie Campout, but just haven't yet. They are on my facebook though so any of you that have it can see them there. I also have some fun video clips I want to post. Mostly of the stick horse rodeo; one of my Uncle Dan being a bull and chasing the rodeo clowns. I will try to get them up soon, but in the mean time I have some more things to talk about.

First of all I have to tell you about the cool new bruise on my arm. It all started when I donated blood Wednesday. Thursday morning it was looking great and wasn't really bruising at all. Then Thursday evening I played volleyball with some neighbors and the ball hit my arm on the place where they drew blood. I guess the vein wasn't all the way healed yet and the ball hit hard enough that it popped it back open. I immediately had about a 1/2 inch tall lump filled with blood in the bend of my arm. It looked so cool, but kinda hurt and I couldn't bend my arm or straighten it all the way. In about five minutes the lump started to go down and now I have this crazy big bruise showing up there. Other injuries from this weekend are: a burn from Cade's motorcycle exhaust pipe, sunburns on my arms & chest & legs, a burn from the oven on my arm, and a couple bug bits.

Well this past weekend we had fun. Cade's Mom, brother Haden, sister Haylie, and his mom's friend Bart came up. It was the Cache Valley Cruise-In Car Show up here and we took the Mustang. We had it for sale and got some inquiries about it and one guy from up here wants to take it for a test drive sometime this week. He seems really interested and really loves the car. I hope he buys it. We'll miss it, but we just don't have time to take care of it and keep it in the good shape it's in right now. Plus we don't want it to be outside in the winter because the snow can cause rust so we've had it in a storage unit, but that's kinda expensive for us right now. If you know any classic car collectors or someone that just wants a really fun car let them know we're selling this one. It's a 1970 Mach 1 Mustang. It could use a fresh paint job (there are just a few little cracks in the paint), but everything else is basically perfect. The interior looks practically new and the motor & most everything under the hood is all chrome and fairly new. It's spent most it's time in either Arizona, Texas, or California and since it's been in Utah it's been in a garage or storage shed during the winters so there's no rust on it anywhere that we can find. We looked up classic car prices and found out that this car in average condition would be valued at $32k, but we figured that other than the paint it's way above average condition so we're asking $35k.

Well I was being lazy and didn't take any pictures from this weekend. Friday at the car show I didn't take my camera because I thought I'd just take it on Saturday. Then Saturday morning we were in such a hurry to leave that I forgot it. But we had fun and saw lots of cool cars. Friday night we watched the fireworks they put on at the Football stadium....we can see them from our house though so we just sat in the road in front and watched them. Then we did our own little fireworks show and that was pretty fun, too. Saturday was so hot and I got sunburnt. We also did the cruise-in parade with our car. All the cars in the car show get to drive around main street for two hours to show off all the cars to anyone who wants to watch. Just as we were about to pull off main street and go home, we heard someone call "CADE!" and it was his cousin Amanda from Salt Lake. We were excited to actually see someone we knew and so we took her for one more lap down main street and back. It was a fun weekend, but I'm glad it's over because I'm exhausted.....so much for a three day weekend to catch up on sleep huh. :)

Weekend with the Kids

Cade and I met Jed & Selanie in Lehi Friday and picked up their three kids for the weekend....it was their 6th anniversary on the 14th so we thought we'd give them a free weekend together. We had so much fun with the kids. They loved our kitty and wouldn't leave her alone at all the first night. While trying to go to sleep, everytime the kitty walked by all three kids starting getting up again to go pet her. Finally Rance went to sleep with Cade in our bed and I stayed with the girls in the living room. Eventually we got to sleep, but not for long.....Rance woke us all up at about 6 am Saturday. Saturday we watched some movies and played at the park for a few hours. They were more worn out that night and so we all slept pretty good. Then Sunday we got up and took the kids to sacrament meeting (but left early since we are not accustomed to having three restless children with us) and then played at the park some more after church. Then after talking Mom and Dad into letting them stay a little longer played some more and then decided to go to the swimming pool for a while. That really tired them out. Rance slept for part of the ride and Kinley slept until we got to Lehi again....then she woke up and was furious that she couldn't come back to Cade & Lissa's house. Anyways, here are some fun pictures from the weekend. (I took a lot so these are just my most favorites):

Kinley as a horse

I love this picture.....she looks so sweet and cute.

Here come the horsies....

That's got to be the cutest puppy I've ever seen.

Jaylee building a sand castle.

And Kinley building a sand castle.

And Rance destroying the sand castles.

Rance sat at the top of this slide many many time before he actually got brave enough to go down....he eventually did though and then he loved it.

Cade and Jaylee swinging together

And playing CandyLand....Rance couldn't play on the board though...he kept messing it up and the girls would get mad. So he got to take his piece and play on a pretend board.

And all tuckered out after swimming....after getting dressed and sitting down on the couch, it took him about two seconds to fall asleep. Then it was time to go home.

We loved having the kids up for the weekend. But I don't know how Jed and Sel do it all the time....they sure wore me out. Cade loved it too and keeps asking when they can come up again. "We could probably bring them up again for a few days in July" he says...while pretending to not be too excited about it. He loves those kids so much and I know he'll be such a great dad when the time is right for us to be parents.....hopefully that day will come sooner rather than later.

Allen Reunion

So the first day of the reunion we played some golf. I just sat in the cart and watched, but it was fun I guess. Then we went to a park to have a BBQ and play games. It was really windy and cold, but they still had fun playing softball and we managed to keep all the food from blowing away I think. The second day we went to the zoo and I loved it. I love the zoo....even though this zoo is pretty small I still enjoy it and I haven't been in many years. Here's some pictures of the animals:




Oh and Some of the Zoo Animals too: